So a few weeks ago my local LCS (local comic shop for those not in the know) purchased a bunch of great old comics from a private party. Most of the books are in horrible condition and are pretty much just reader copies. They’ve been selling them for a buck a piece and I’m trying to buy a few at a time that catch my eye. Last week I picked up a few issues of The Flash, my favorite DC character. My favorite issue that I picked up has the scarlet speedster meeting Abe Lincoln.

Our story begins with Lincoln being assassinated by John Wilkes Booth with a lazer gun in the year 2971. Meanwhile The Flash and his wife Iris use their Cosmic Treadmill to run into the future to meet her parents for a nice little brunch date. Her parents get all pissy cause of Abe bing shot and all. Barry decides to go after John Wilkes Booth, who of course uses a Ion-Jet Turbo Suit to get the hell out of dodge.

While Flash is avoiding his in-laws we found out Abe is actually a robot created by scientist for being the sweetest President ever. This robot thinks he’s human and also possess infallible mathematical calculation which allows him to predict consequences of his and other’s actions.

Meanwhile, the dude who can only run fast finally meets up with Booth only to to be suckered into a trap. Booth wraps a lethal cybernautic chain around Barry which will eventually squeeze him to death.

While the Flash figures out how to get out of those wacky chains Robo Lincoln does all the dirty work and uncovers that Booth was working for an evil rat bastard known as Bekor, a Ming ripoff from Flash Gordon. Robo Abe remembers 19th century old style wrestling holds and decides to put Bekor in a one legged camel clutch. Personally I would have like to have seen a flying elbow or a torture rack but this seems to do the trick quite nicely. Bekor taps like the sally he is. Way to go fighting Illini!

Meanwhile The Flash is still stuck in those damn chains. He breaks himself free and and upon realizing Abe is apparently stuck in Bekor’s base. The base is of course about to blow now that he’s been given a smack down by the great emancipator. Flash finally figures a way to be useful and vibrates through the base and pulls Abe out in time before it blows up.

Greatest dollar ever spent in my life. Do yourself a favor and go read a comic made before 1980.
Brent